Crazy Made-Up Episodes
by Sweet Pripper
Summary: A bunch of episodes that I'm putting in writing form.
1. Chapter 1

Snowball: Hii! Hii! Wait, what are we doing?

Kowalski: *knocks Snowball away* We- Wait, what are we doing?

Skipper: You are so stupid! *slaps Kowalski*

Private stares confused.

Pika slaps Skipper.

Skipper: GRR…

Pika: *giggles*

Skipper: STOP SLAPPING ME!

Pika: It's a catastrophe!

Me: ?

Skipper: No it's not! It's the reviewers for heaven sakes!

Pika: Yeah! A catastrophe!

Skipper: You are so weird…

Pika: At least I got a brain!

Skipper: What do you mean, 'At least I got a brain?' I have a brain!

Pika: *scoffs* No you don't! I'm Pika the awesomest Pikachu ever!

Me: Who you talking to?

Pika: The reviewers!

Skipper: *off-screen* And the most annoying!

Pika: HEY I HEARD THAT! That's Skipper, he's very grumpy! This is Private, HE'S SO CUTE! And this is K'walski! He thinks he's sciencey with his big head.

Kowalski: MY HEAD ISN'T BIG!

Pika: Whatever! This is Snowball, she can be smart or stupid. Whats 2 + 2?

Snowball: four.

Pika: Wrong, Its fish!

Snowball: That's a stupid answer!

Pika: This story starts a long time ago… The story has pain! Violence!

Private: They are going to exit the story if it's all about Violence and pain.

Pika: …. Let's see if Private can handle bouncing on a ball and never falling off!

Me: *sighs*

Theres no ball.

Me: Um guys, where's the ball? I don't see it!

Skipper rolls the ball over.

Pika: I aid Private was going to bounce, not you Skipper! Private, get on the ball!

Skipper gets off and Private gets on.

Private: This ball sucks! Get another one! *knocks the ball away then walks around* Come here ball, ball!

Me: Private, we don't call a ball…

Private: Yea we do! *grabs a purple ball and gets on it and bounces* I'm bouncing!

Two hours later.

Private: Pika, I'm getting tired!

Pika: But you're so good at it!

Private: Oh no! I can't stop! *falls off* AHH!

Pika: ok, let's see if K'walski can handle this. BEING FRIED!

Kowalski: SAY WUT?! I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIED!

Pika: BOO HOO!

Kowalski: ARG! *bangs his flippers against the floor*

Pika: AWWWW, look at that… *using a baby voice: K'walski's having a fit!

Kowalski: I AM NOT!

Pika: Ok Sweet Pripper!

Me: *puts Kowalski in a frying pan and flips him*

Kowalski: *falls out*

Pika: That darn Kowalski keeps flopping away!

Me: *gets a spatula and whacks Kowalski*

Kowalski: OW OW! STOP HURTING ME!

Pika: Kowalski, get ready for your doom.

Kowalski: I don't want my doom.

Me: *Straps Kowalski on the table*

Pika: MAHAAAA! *Gets out a blade*

Kowalski: YOU'RE INSANE!

Pika brings the blade down to Kowalski's neck.

Skipper covers Private's eyes.

Choking sound in background.

Pika: He's dead.

Kowalski runs away crying.

Pika: KOWALSKI GET BACK HERE! *runs after Kowalski*

**I'm so hyper... Gezz...**

**Skipper: Hold on.. I thought you were in time-out!**

**Me: *pouts* I'm not 5 Skipper!**

**Skipper: GO BACK TO THE COUNER!**

**Me: NO!**


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING! CONTAINS NON-PRIPPER!**

Pika: Welcome people! I'm afraid this is going against my owner's image. Its Skipper's least favorite holiday…

Skipper: IT'S NOT A HOLIDAY! IT'S A TASK, YOU MORON!

Pika: *scoffs* I have my reason for naming things!

**TORTURE PRIVATE! **

Private: Why does it have to be me?

Pika: I want pizza!

Private: But penguins can't be pizza!

Skipper: *picks up and Private and takes him to the microwave*

Private: You can't do this!

Skipper: Yes I can! *throws Private in the microwave*

Two hours later.

Micowave: DING DING!

Skipper: *takes Private out* Hey he's not pizza!

Pika: I guess we'll feed Private to the fiercest creature on the planet! The snake blanket!

(A snake blanket is half blanket, half snake, and half dragon)

Me: Get some rope!

Skipper: Stay here Private. * puts Private down then grabs a rope* Time to tie you up!

Private: But I don't want to get tied up!

Skipper: Oh shut up.

Private: NO NO! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!

Skipper: *tying Private up* Too late! I'm already doing it to you!

Me: Good luck typing yourself to him…

Pika: Hmm, that's a good idea for an episode!

Skipper: You're just helping Sweet Pripper!

Pika: No I'm not…

Private's flippers are still free.

Private: HA! YOU MISSED MY FLIPPERS! YOU MISSED MY FLIPPERS!

Skipper: *starts tying Private's flipper*

Private: Whoops. *whimpers* No… You can't do this to me!

Me: I hope Private doesn't start crying... ):

Pika: Or I'm going to feel guilty!

Skipper: If I couldn't do this to you, I wouldn't be doing it. But I am. So I can.

Private: Oh crap! Now I can't move!

Skipper: *grabs the other end of the rope and hangs Private in the water*

Snake Blanket: FOOD!

Private: NOOO!

Snake Blanket: *grabs Private and tries to bring him down*

Skipper: Whoa! *tries to pull Private up*

Me: Uh oh… We don't want cute Private to die! DON'T LET GO SKIPPER!

Skipper: I'm not trying to!

Snake Blanket: *snaps the rope and drags Private down*

Skipper: O.O

Private: OH MY GOSH!

Me: *kicks snake blanket*

Snake blanket: *flies away*

Skipper: *grabs Private and tries to untie him*

Me: Skipper…

Skipper: Oh yeah, I'm sorry Jet engine for calling you a nerd! I mixed you up with someone else. Can I go now?!

Me: UGHH! See you guys in the next episode.

**I'm just going to give you a random fact. You can easily tell if its me in real life.**

**1. I have brown hair. **

**2. I pretend that the penguins are imaginary... So you would think I was talking to myself. **


	3. Chapter 3

Pika: Hello! In this episode, Kowalski nearly kills Private.

Kowalski: *clears throat* This story begins on a dark ni- HEY I SAID IT WAS DARK!

Private: What did he say?

Pika: Dark!

The lights flick off.

Kowalski: Thank you! This story begins on a dark night… With a dark penguin… With a dark purpose…

Private: Now your sounding like that guy from Aladdin!

Me: *puts Private and Skipper in the bunk* And action!

Kowalski: *pulls out chili sauce* CHILI SAUCE! IT WILL KILL PRIVATE! MAHAAA!

Me: You're evil…

Kowalski: *goes over to Private raising the bottle making it look like a knife*

Private: *screams*

Skipper: *gets out a frying pan and smacks Kowalski on the head with it*

Kowalski: OWW!

Bottle falls in slow motion and hits the ground slowly.

Skipper: *picks up bottle* May I ask what you're doing with this sauce?

Kowalski: I was putting it on my sandwich?

Skipper: AND YOUR SANDWICH IS PRIVATE?!

Kowalski: NO THAT'S GROSS! He's a pest!

Skipper throws the bottle at Kowalski's face.

Kowalski: OWWW!

Skipper: NOW GET IN BED SOILDER!

Me: SKIPPER QUIT BEING A PERVERT!

Skipper: Moving a flipper down his stomach is a pervert thing?

Me and Pika: YES!

Pika: Sorry, Skipper is being a Pervert

Skipper: I AM NOT!

Pika: Skipper will always protect his boyfriend!

Skipper: THAT'S IT! *tackles Pika, punching her*

Pika: Ow…

Skipper: *punches Sweet Pripper in the face*

Me: * pushes Skipper away*


	4. Chapter 4

Me: Ok…. Kowalski, help me out here…

Kowalski: This is a very special episode! (Maybe) This episode is about when Skipper eats all of Private's cupcakes. Since he didn't know who it belonged to. He's paying a trip to the hospital today. O.O

Skipper: *sees a pink cupcake* Does this cupcake belong to anybody?

Silence.

Skipper: Ok then! *eats cupcake*

Private: *comes while Skipper is eating the cupcake* O.O *after Skipper is done* Skippah… Was that my cupcake?

Skipper: That was your cupcake? I-I didn't know! (Really? It's pink! You should've know!)

Private: HOW COULD YOU SKIPPAH! *chases Skipper around*

Skipper: NO! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I HAD SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!

Private: GIMMIE A BREAK! YOUR THRITY YEARS OLD!

Skipper: Then I'm too old to die.

Private: JUST GET BACK HERE!

Skipper: NO NO NO! I NEVER EVEN GOT MARRIED!

Private: PENGUINS CAN'T GET MARRIED!

Skipper: YES THEY CAN!

Private: YOUR GOING TO BE DEAD WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU!

Skipper: *slows down, panting*

Private: *crashes into Skipper and starts beating him up*

Skipper: *Private throws him across the room* AHHH!

Kowalski: That's got to leave a mark… *explosion sound*

Me: Oh my…

Kowalski: Never eat Private's cupcakes! Or you'll be on the pain express! Or the kill express, whatever works for you. *looks down* Oh a cupcake! *eats it*

Private: Not you too K'walski! *walks up* Want to go on a world tour?

Kowalski: Oh yes, I would love to go around the world! :D

Private: *smirks* Well, here's your ticket! *kicks Kowalski*

Kowalski: *flies around the world* AHH!

Two hours latah!

Kowalski: *lands* I got cookie! Also I saw your dad Sweet Pripper. He's having a blast. Also saw your uncle in the hospital.

Me: QUIT SPYING ON MY FAMILY YOU WERIDO!

Kowalski: Nu-huh! I also saw Cowtails!

Me: Oh yea? What does she look like?

Kowalski: Classified.

Me: HEY!

At the hospital.

Me: So Skipper, how's the hospital? Wait, are you sure Private didn't get you pregnant too?

Kowalski: SWEET PRIPPER!

Me: Whaaaat?

Kowalski: Private knows nothing about S-E-X!

Me: Oh right…. Skipper just looks like he's about to have a baby. Doctor Rico! How long does Skipper have to stay?

Rico: MAHBA!

Me: What? O.O

Rico: BAGHA!

Me: WHAT?

Rico: THAMHABA!

Me: What the heck are you saying?! I don't speak Rico!

Rico: BAHGABA!

Me: Are you saying Skipper can get out tomorrow? Or ten days?

Rico: ten day.

Me: Say bye Rico.

Rico: Bing! *runs off*

Me: Skipper, say bye.

Skipper: … No. Go away losers.

Kowalski: Review! And give us ideas for episodes!

Me: Private, say goodbye.

Private: HI!

Me: No! Say bye!

Private: Review so we can make more episodes that doesn't include me dying!

Skipper: It's not my fault you got tortured!

Private: Oh shut up!

Skipper: No you shut up!

Private: NO you!

Skipper: YOU!

Me: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!

Private: AW man!

Skipper: Loser.

Me: O-

Skipper: STUPID LOSERS!

Me: o.o *throws Skipper across the room*

Skipper: AHHH!


	5. Chapter 5

Me: Hey.. Wheres Skipper?

Skipper isn't in bed.

Rico: Hey you not leave!

Skipper: Humph! *throws a box at Rico* *sits on box* Yay! :D

Rico: *pushes box off*

Skipper: *screams then pushes box down* *smashes box on Rico* There!

Rico: URGH!

Skipper: *throws Rico*

Rico: AHHH!

Skipper: There we go!

Meanwhile…..

Kowalski: Is it just me? Or is someone trying to escape?

Private: Don't be silly!

Rico: AHHH! *lands*

Kowalski: Rico whats wrong?

Rico: BALGAHA!

Kowalski and Private: What?

Rico: BLAGHAAA!

Kowalski: ARE U SAYING SKIPPER IS ESCAPEING THE HOSPTIAL?!

Rico: YEP YEP YEP YEP!

Kowalski: AHHHH!

Skipper: *pretending to cry* AHHH!

Kowalski: *tries to grab Skipper but Skipper kept doggeing*

Private: Skippah! *runs after Skipper* How the heck is he running? His bones are broken! Skippah! NO you got to stay in bed! Your hurt!

Skipper: I'm going to fly away! :D

Private: Operation: Get Skippah! *grabs a pink balloon*

Skipper: *is holding on to a green balloon* WHEEEE!

Private: Skippah! COME BACK! Stop flying away! *uses a flipper to grab Skipper's balloon*

Skipper: *falls* AHH!

Private: Huh? *les go and lands in a box with Skipper*

Skipper: *throws Private out*

Private: *opens the box* o.O ?

Skipper: HELLO! :D

Private: *turns*

Skipper: OVER HERE!

Private: STOP MOVING AROUND!

Skipper: *grabs the pink balloon* :D

Private: *death glares*

Mission Impossible plays

Private: *chases Skipper* *fights Skipper*

Me: o.o

Skipper: *throws Private* Still strong! Don't make me throw you in a deep hole!

Private: Do it then!

Skipper: *throws Private in the hole* :D

Private: *bounces out* HI-YA!

Skipper: D: AHHH!

Private: *flies on pink balloon and grabs Skipper* Got him!

Skipper: *gets away* AHHH! *lands* *runs past Stars* HI MOM! :D

Stars: SKIPPER GET BACK IN THAT BED OR I'LL SPANK YOU!

Skipper: AHHH!

Stars: *roars*

Me: Stars; the dangerous Mom.

Stars: *chasing Skipper*

Skipper: AHHH!

Stars: *roars* ROAR!

Me: O.O

Stars: CHANGE THE MUSIC!

City by Hollywood Undead plays

Stars: *stomping* GET OUT HERE!

Skipper: *throws Private*

Stars: *catches Private then puts him down*

Skipper: *runs*

Stars: *chases* COME HERE OR YOUR FIRED!

Skipper: Ok ok! *comes over*

Stars: *picks up Skipper and spans his butt*

Skipper: OW! *whimpers*

Stars: *puts Skipper down* Now get in that bed!

Skipper: *slaps Private*

Private: Ow! What was that for? D;

Skipper: For trying to get me back to the hospital! *twists Private's right foot*

Private: *yelps*

Skipper: *twists Private's other foot*

Private: *yelps*

Skipper: *Twists Private's flippers*

Private: *yelps and whimpers*

Skipper: *twists Private's beak*

Private: *whimpers*

Me: Skipper did not escape the hospital… But he broke Private's bones D:

Mysterious Pripper: Poor Private… D:

Me: Why don't we put the blanket on Private and not Skipper?

Skipper: o.o

Mysterious Pripper: OK!

Skipper: WHAT?!

Mysterious Pripper: *puts blanket on Private and NOT Skipper*

Me: You broke his bones!

Skipper: I wanted to escape the hospital!

Private: I wanted to help you! What do you want me to do? Die?

Skipper: Yah…. No.

Me: Ok, lets end this before Private pulls the how to die book….

Kowalski: Please Review!

Rico: bAHDA! BLOOP! Bing!

Kowalski: Give us ideas! And no killing the Skipper just because he broke Private's bones…

Rico: Or no episode.

Kowalski: Uh, what he said.

Rico: BAHBA!

Everyone: WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOUR SAYING!

Rico: D:


End file.
